When Jesus Meets You In Your Pain

What happens when personal pain becomes so overwhelming that we can no longer recognize what God is doing around us? From John 20:14–15, this message looks at Mary Magdalene, who stood weeping at the tomb after witnessing the death of Jesus. The risen Jesus came directly to her and asked, “Why are you crying?” Her story reminds us that Jesus is not uncomfortable with our tears, grief, questions, or wounds.
When Jesus Meets You In Your Pain

Let’s open our Bibles this morning to the Gospel of John. Gospel of John 20 verse 14 and 15. John 20 14 and 15. I’ll read it here in a minute as you turn to it. All right. from verse 14. At this she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. And he asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it that you are looking for?” And then thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him and I will get him.” This morning, the Lord’s table is before us. And in a few moments, we’re going to be taking part of the bread. We’re going to be taking part of the cup. These are reminders that the body that was broken for us and the blood that was poured out for us. That’s the significance of this table. But when we come this morning to this table, all of us are coming carrying something. Some of you are coming this morning with gratefulness. Gratefulness that you’re here on Sunday. Gratefulness that this is the weekend and you don’t have to work today. Gratefulness that it is a day of rest. Some of you are coming very tired. Some of you are coming hurting. Some of you are coming disappointed. Some of you are coming with issues that no one knows about. Some of you are standing there and smiling and singing on the outside but the inside is crying and weeping. That’s why the words of that we read this morning these words of Mary Magdalene these words that are being spoken is should be very meaningful. Verse 15 that we read today. These are the first recorded words of Jesus after his death and resurrection. These are the first words. That should make you stop and pay attention for a second. God is intentional with everything he says. Every verse in the Bible, every word of God is very intentional. Nothing is accidental. Nothing is coincidental. So if these are the first words that Jesus chose to speak after his resurrection, this is something we should probably pay close attention to.
The Quiet Resurrection and Mary Magdalene
So think about everything that’s just happened. Jesus instituted the supper, the last supper. He was betrayed. He was whipped. He was beaten. He was taken in front of Pilate. He was hung on the cross. He was mocked. He was spit on. He was crucified. He was buried. He just had conquered sin and death. And now history is now forever changed. So you would think with that much stuff happening that when he comes back resurrected, he would make more of a public appearance. Why not come back and shake the entire earth? Why not come down with angels on either side of you? Why not make a grand entrance after your resurrection? But his resurrection entrance was quite quiet. In fact, it was so quiet Mary Magdalene misunderstands him for the garden. Before we continue, I want to clear up a misunderstanding. Who we’re talking about here is Mary Magdalene. It is not Mary, the mother of Jesus. It is not Mary of Bethany, the sisters, the sister of Lazarus and Martha. It is not Mary, the mother of James. Mary Magdalene is her own person. She is a woman that L in Luke chapter 8 when you read it, she was delivered from seven demons. Jesus cast out seven demons from her. So she’s not someone that just heard about Jesus. She experienced the transforming power of Jesus very very personally. Her life was broken. But Jesus met her in that brokenness and completely changed her life. So when you read Luke chapter 8, you can see after she gets delivered from these demons, she gives all her time to following Jesus. Whenever you read in the gospels about the disciples and the women that were coming with them, all these disciples together, both men and women, Mary Magdalene is part of that group. And the Bible even says she would take her own financial resources to support the ministry of the disciples. So she was giving her time and her energy and her money. And then when you look at the death of Jesus, she was the one standing by the cross. She watched him die. She watched him get buried. And then on Sunday morning, she came to the tombsite. So when we read this passage, just so you all know with the context of what’s happening here, Mary Magdalene came early in the morning to anoint the body of Jesus with spices. That’s in Mark chapter 16. You can read about the three women that came together to anoint the body of Jesus. Why is she anointing the body of Jesus? In the Jewish culture, one of the funeral preparations was to anoint a body with several spices. That’s a message of its own. We can talk about that later. But they obviously did it for spices to help with the decomposition smell of the body. But you also gave spices, put spices on a body of someone that you love, someone that was close to you. It was a It was a sign of respect and dignity. So, she’s bringing spices in the morning fully expecting the dead body of Jesus Christ in the tomb. She is not expecting Jesus to be resurrected. Why would you bring Spicus if uh if he’s going to be alive? She is coming with the full expectation. She’s going to see the dead Jesus Christ inside the tomb. In her mind, the story is over. She wasn’t exper expecting a miracle. She was expecting to do the last funeral rights. See, every disciple, including Mary Magdalene, heard that Jesus Jesus’ words were, “He would suffer, he would die, and he would resurrect.” How many times did Jesus say that in the Gospels? Mary was part of that group that heard that Jesus would resurrect. They knew what was coming. But after witnessing this horrific execution, after witnessing the crucifixion, they couldn’t imagine anything else beyond his death. They watched a human being suffer in the most horrific way. He was beaten. He was flogged. He was spit upon. They put a crown of thorns on his head. They put nails in his hands and his feet. And then they hung him on the cross for hours. And they watched this human being struggle to breathe on the cross with nails in his hand. And then for good measure, a Roman soldier came and took a spear and threw it into the side of Jesus to ensure that he was dead. If you read Isaiah 52, it describes the horrificness of Jesus death on the cross. Isaiah 52:14, “His appearance was so disfigured beyond any human being, and his form marred beyond any human likeness. The amount of torture and punishment that Jesus suffered on the cross disfigured him beyond recognition.” This was the trauma of the crucifixion. They saw this. The disciples saw this.
Understanding the Trauma of the Cross
Mary Magdalene saw this and they thought, “There’s no way Jesus can resurrect from this.” See, think about this from your own human experience. When someone dies, we understand what that means. It means their presence, their physical presence, their spiritual presence is no longer here with us. Let me illustrate it to you this way. When I was about 14 years old, I went to India with my family. We visited a relative’s house. Now, in this relative’s house, they just had a death in the family. The uncle of the house had just died the week prior and the funeral service was all done. And so, they were in that that uh heat in the climax of the grief this family was. So we went to visit them. They were not Pentecostals. They were Orthodox Christians. Uh we stepped into the living room and you know when you step you into a living room you you’re looking for a seat. So I’m looking for a place to sit down and there’s not very many chairs. So I’m thinking okay I need to find a seat quickly. So, in the back of the living room, there’s a bed and on that bed there’s a white sheet neatly laid out on this bed. So, I thought being 14 years old, let me get that seat and get out of everyone’s way. Um, so no one then it’s not awkward. I’m not looking for a seat. So, I jumped to the back and sat on that bed. Perfect. No one is sitting here. I can watch the adults have a conversation and I’m out of the way. As soon as I sat down on this bed, I noticed the auntie of the house uh whose husband just died. She was looking at me. She’s just just staring at me. So, she initially said, “Hey, why don’t you come and sit in this? There’s a chair over here. Why don’t you sit over here?” Um, and I’m in my head, I’m like, “There’s a perfectly good bed right here. I’m going to sit right here. I’m now going to move. There’s plenty of room here. So, I didn’t move. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful, but I didn’t understand what the problem here was, why I needed to move from this bed. And this auntie continues to look at me, and she’s getting very uncomfortable. And finally, my dad turns around and says, “Just get off the bed. Don’t sit there.” I was utterly confused. And so I stood in the corner for the rest of the time we were there. So after we left the house, my dad clarified to me. So in some Orthodox traditions, there’s a belief that the spirit of the deceased person remains around the house for 30 to 40 days. And they have various memorial services and masses for all of this. And the spirit of that this dead person stays in that area in their favorite places. And so people generally avoid sitting in the seats or sleeping on the bed that that person used to sleep on. Just to clarify, the Bible does not teach that. The Bible does not teach that a deceased person’s spirit remains in the house for 40 days occupying anything. When someone dies, their physical, their mental, their spiritual presence is gone. Their chair may be still there, their bed may be still there, their clothes in their closet may be there, their favorite coffee mug may still be there, but they are not there. They are physically, mentally, and spiritually not there. We can no longer hear their voice when we walk into the room. We cannot reach out and touch them. We cannot talk to them about our problems. We cannot pray with them and we cannot pray for them. That’s what makes death so painful. It is complete and utter separation. The place remains but the person is gone.
The Personal Nature of Pain
See this is what the disciples were struggling with including Peter and John. If you read John chapter 20, Peter and John show up, they look in the grave, it’s empty, they’re confused, and they’re like, “We’re going to leave.” But Mary Magdalene was the one that decided to stay. She stayed outside the tomb weeping when everyone else left. She was so overwhelmed with grief and she was unable to understand what was happening. And that’s the verses that we read today. She came in looking for a dead Jesus, but she didn’t realize he was standing right there next to her. She couldn’t recognize him. And then Jesus asked her two questions. And these questions don’t just apply to Mary Magdalene. They apply to each one of us. Why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking? There is something unique about pain, dear church. Pain affects us personally. We can hear about something somewhere in the world. We’ll feel sad about it. But when that same pain touches your own life, it’s different. It changes everything. Your thinking has changed. Your emotions are changed. Your perspective has changed. Even the way you see God is changed. Let me let me tell you this way. If you hear today that there’s an earthquake in Africa and thousands of people died, you’ll be sad. You’ll be sad. And maybe you’ll have compassion. Maybe you’ll raise up a donation. May maybe you’ll do all that stuff. But let me tell you, if there was an earthquake today in India, not just India, in your native place, and your family member died in that earthquake, now that earthquake has a new meaning. Now that pain has a new meaning for you because it’s now more personal. See, we can hear about someone else’s tragedy, someone else’s disappointment, someone else’s heartbreak, and we’ll say, “Oh, that’s heartbreaking. That’s really sad.” But if someone mentions the friend that betrayed you, that parent or grandparent of yours that died, your own trauma, then the emotions get overwhelming. This morning, I felt led to to talk about this today because I feel like many of us are walking around carrying personal grief, carrying personal pain in our heart that we don’t want to talk about. This was actually not my message that I prepared for today. It was something completely different. Some of us are coming here with with grief in our heart. We’re carrying disappointment in our heart. We’re carrying unanswered questions in our heart. We’re carrying shattered hope, shattered expectations. We are carrying some trauma, some wounds in our heart. Some of you are sitting here so traumatized that you are wondering in your heart, how am I ever going to get past this? This was Mary Magdalene’s grief. It was a very personal pain, very personal grief. The Jesus that healed her from seven demons, healed her from her utter brokenness, was no longer present. But I want you to look at this passage. Notice that Jesus does not begin by rebuking her. He doesn’t rebuke her for her lack of faith. He doesn’t immediately say, “Hey, don’t cry. It’s me.” He doesn’t say that. He asks her a simple question. Woman, why are you crying? He knows why she’s crying. She’s in a tomb. When you see people crying in a cemetery, it’s safe to say we know why they’re crying. But he asks her this very personal question. This teaches us something about how Jesus draws us closer in our personal pain. Jesus wanted to know specifically what is causing her to cry and weep. Think about it. Think about the weight of this situation that’s happening, this scene. Jesus just died for the sins of humanity. He carried the sins of the world on the cross. And now in the middle of something so big, there’s Mary crying at the tomb. And Jesus is coming and asking her a very personal question.
Questioning Tears: Why Are You Weeping?
I have one point to you. I don’t have much time. There are two questions that Jesus asked here and maybe I’ll talk about the second question at another time, but I just want to focus on this one question. Why are you crying? And my one and only point to you this morning, if you want to experience God’s presence in your life, you first have to answer that question. Why are you crying? Some of us feel very uncomfortable with that question. I’ll be honest with you. We don’t like to see people cry. That makes us very uncomfortable. Maybe some of you don’t mind it. I find it very uncomfortable when people cry. See, in India and and many Asian countries, we’re taught to be very strong. Don’t cry. If you cry, that means you’ve lost self-control. We’re taught to be strong. Go through. Power through. When you cry, it is a sign of weakness. It’s a source of embarrassment in in generally speaking in the Asian cultures. So what do we do? All of us carry our pain very quietly inside. Indians especially, we tend to hide how we feel. So when someone comes and asks you, hi how are you doing? You’ll say I’m okay. I’m good. I’m fine. Even when we’re not okay, we have learned to play the pretend game very well. But here’s the beauty of the gospel. The God who created you in his image knows and understands our emotion. He created your ability to rejoice. He created your ability to love. He create he created your ability to cry. He isn’t awkward with your tears. He isn’t uncomfortable with your emotion. He’s not asking you to hide your pain. There’s a limit on how much another person can understand your pain. There’s a limit to it. But Jesus knows and understands our pain. Listen to what Psalm 56 says. Psalm 56:8, “You keep track of all my sorrow. You collected all my tears in your bottle. You record each one in your book.” To the parents in your in the room, have you kept track of all your kids tears? Do you even keep track of the things that bother your children, your wife, your husband? Pastors cannot keep track. No matter how good the pastor is, they can’t keep track of every tear, every sorrow that happens in the church. But God says, “I keep track of all your sorrow. I have collected all your tears in my bottle.” So Jesus is teaching us something different. not simply something different, but his way of processing sadness and grief. There’s so many examples in the Bible, but I’m going to tell you exactly what Jesus himself did. When Jesus was in agony, when Jesus was suffering, when Jesus was in pain in the Garden of Gethsemane, he knew betrayal is coming. He knew abandonment is coming. He knew pain is coming. He’s going to hang on that cross. He didn’t pretend it was easy. He didn’t smile to everyone and say, “Oh, I’m I’m going to be fine. I’ll be good. I’m okay.” He was so overwhelmed. The Bible tells us he was so overwhelmed with sorrow, he told his disciples, “My soul is sorrowful to the point of death.” And in Luke, it says his sweat was like droplets of blood. And then in his prayer, he’s crying out to God the Father somehow, if possible, dear Father, let this cup pass from me. But not as I will, but your will be done.
Coexistence of Faith and Suffering
See, pain and suffering can coexist with faith. We are programmed to believe that if I’m hurting, if I’m struggling, if I’m grieving, if I’m facing trials, that somehow my faith must be weak. Sometimes you say, I I’ve heard people say this, if I trust God, if I’m trusting God, why am I still in pain? Why am I still struggling? Why hasn’t God changed my situation? Is it my lack of faith? What when we see Jesus crying out to God the Father in utter agony, it’s teaching us something different. You can have faith and you can still cry. You can trust God and still have questions. You can love Jesus and still feel broken. Pain and suffering doesn’t mean you’ve lost your faith. Sometimes faith is not about pretending. Not about just saying, “Oh, everything’s okay. You tell God the Father, I don’t understand this. I don’t know how this is going to turn out, but I’m still bringing my pain to you.” This is so important, dear church. It’s so important how you handle pain because it changes the way how you see everything. Mary Magdalene when she was at the tomb, her sadness changed how she saw everything. If you read that chapter, chapter 20, two angels appeared to Mary. She was not even bothered. Most people when they see angels, they’ll bow down. They’ll be in shock. But Mary was not even moved. She’s just continually saying, “I don’t know where Jesus’ body is.” And then when Jesus himself stood next to her, all she can say was, “Where’s Jesus’ body? I don’t know where Jesus’ body is.” Thinking that Jesus was a gardener. She couldn’t even recognize him. How often do we do this? We’re in the same level of brokenness. We look through everything with this lens of sadness that’s come into our life. David said in Psalm 139 verse 23, “Search me, oh God, know my heart. If there’s any wicked way, if there’s any grievous way in me, lead me, God. Search my heart. Show me what pain is doing inside of me. Show me where I’m hurting. because of my pain. Reveal any sin, any sin of bitterness, any unforgiveness, any pride, any fear that’s holding me back from fully experiencing your presence. Mary Magdalene was so caught up in her sorrow, she couldn’t even recognize Jesus. The Jesus that she walked with, the Jesus that healed her of demons, she couldn’t recognize him. Only God, dear church, only God can see who you truly are. Beyond your smile, beyond your words, beyond your actions, we can all see those things. But God sees you, your thoughts, your motives, your wound, your pain, your fear, your struggles. And God is not seeing it to expose you. He’s not trying to make a fool of you. He is bringing it to you and putting it in the light so he can heal you and transform you. And this is very important when it comes to do with our suffering.
Dealing with Grief With or Without Christ
Because Paul says in Romans chapter 5, how you deal with your suffering is going to define your Christian walk. Romans chapter 5:es 3 and 4. We’re going to unpack this verse very quickly in the time that I have and we’re going to close. Romans chapter 5:es 3 and 4. Paul says, “Suffering produces endurance. Endurance produces character. Character produces hope.” See, there’s two ways you can deal with your grief. There are two ways you can deal with your pain. You can deal with it with Christ or you can deal with it without Christ. I have seen people process their pain without Christ and they become very bitter. I have seen people process their pain without Christ and they walk away from God completely. They become atheists over pain. I have seen people process their pain without Christ. They’re so overwhelmed without hope that they end their life. You all may have heard about the neat exam leaks that’s happening in in in India and all the protests that are going on from that. For those of you who don’t know, neat is essentially the medical entrance exam to get into medical school in India. It’s equivalent to the MCAT here in the states. Very competitive exam. The pass rate is about 50%. On that so you can imagine how hard that exam is. So I I recently read a news story of a student, a young man who took years to study. He he wanted to become a a doctor. He took years to study. His his family moved cities across North India so they could be close to a coaching center. and they put all their hard savings and money, thousands of dollars, so he can go to this coaching center and get training and coached and everything for this exam. And so he went and took the exam. He felt that he did really good and he was so happy he decided to go on vacation. And that’s when the news came down that the government is cancelling that exam and those results are essentially cancelled and anyone that took the test has to retake it now. And by the news story they when they interviewed this young man’s father, he was asking his father, “What did I do wrong? Why am I having to retake? Why am I suffering for this? I studied so hard. Okay, the government is corrupt. The system is corrupt. Why am I suffering for this? And he had given all his books away because he thought his exam was done. And he he was running back and getting all his books back. And just the day before that he had died, all his family looked at him and said, “He’s so happy. He’s talking to his grandfather. He’s asking for things. Hey, you know, to his grandfather, hey, next time you come, please bring me this. Bring me this. And the very next day, he decided he was going to jump from the sixth floor of his bedroom. And when they interviewed his father, he said he was smiling on the outside, but he was suffering on the inside. I want to remind everyone here, you may have tried to bring your suffering and pain to other people because one thing this father said is he came to him, the son came to him and said, “This isn’t fair, dad.” All the dad can say was, “This is how it is. This is how it is.” When you take your pain and your suffering to other people, they have a limit of what they can do. Your parents may not be able to give you the answer that you need. Your pastor may not be able to give you the answer that you need. Your siblings may not be able to give you those answers. There is a God that meets you in the midst of your pain. Not at the finish line. Your everyone can stand at a distance, but God comes right into the middle of your pain. He did not wait for Mary Magdalene to figure it out. He came right to the tomb, right where she was.
Endurance, Character, and Renewed Purpose
Just because you suffer doesn’t mean it will produce endurance in your life. This is what I’m talking about. When people suffer, they decide, I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to run this race anymore. There’s no more endurance. So, they become bitter. And bitterness leads to hopelessness. And when when a human being has no hope, it’s done. It’s finished. Why is endurance so important? Hebrews 12:1, let us lay aside every weight. Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. Notice it doesn’t say lay aside every sin. It says lay aside every weight, old wounds, the pain, the suffering, the grief that can stunt your growth in Christ. You may be going to work. You may be going to church. You’re doing everything. You’re moving, but you’re stuck in the past. Mary Magdalene saw everything. She saw Jesus on the cross. She saw him being buried. She had followed him everywhere. But when it came to the tomb, her grief was her weight. There needs to be a moment in your life, dear church, dear children of God. We have to stop, turn to Jesus, and say, “This is what I’m carrying. This is the pain I’m carrying. This is the suffering I’m carrying. This is the grief I’m carrying. This is the wounds I’m carrying.” Some of you are thinking, “I’m just going to run this race with the wounds that I have. I’m just going to get through. I’m not going to fix this. Let me just keep running. Dear church, he wants to meet you in your pain. Jesus wants to meet you in your pain. He wants to strengthen you. He wants to help you finish the race well, coming alongside of you. And those wounds can become part of your testimony. And so if suffering produces endurance, then endurance produces character and character produces hope. And in the next verse, it says, “Hope does not put us to shame. Hope does not disappoint because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.” Our hope is secure be because it rests on the unchanging love of God. The God who sees our pain. The God who sees our suffering. That’s the only person that can do something about your pain. And you know what happened to Mary Magdalene? She came to the tomb weeping. But after she encountered Christ, she left saying, “I have seen the risen Lord.” That became her testimony. If you read in another gospel, God Jesus gives her the mission, “Go tell the brothers. Go tell the brethren that I have risen.” Let us stand this morning. I’m going to wrap up my words. Pastor Manu is going to come and minister from the table this morning.
The Lord’s Supper and Closing
Preparation for the Table
The presence of Jesus did not make Mary feel better. Just feeling better. It gave her a reason to live. It gave her a mission. It gave her purpose. Many of you are unable to fulfill the purpose of God in your life because you are still walking with wounds. You’re still walking with grief. You’re still walking with pain. This morning, as we partake from this table, I want to remind you one thing. After these bread and cup has been passed around, they’ll come back to the front. And then you’re going to notice something. You’re going to notice that there’s still bread left over. There’s still cup left over. What does that mean? There’s still work to do. There’s still a mission to do. There is still people to love. There are still lives that we have to touch. God still has a purpose for you. Mary came to the tomb crying, weeping, but she left with the mission. And that’s what Jesus wants to do for your pain as well. He wants to meet you in your pain. He wants to transform you and then move you forward with renewed purpose. So as you come to this table this morning, I want to remind you of the body that was broken for you. He took personal suffering for you. When you take part of this bread, understand, yes, that body was broken for all of humanity, but it was broken for you. That cup that was given, that blood that was shed was not just shed for the entire world. It was shed for you together. I want to tell you as a church, God’s love has come near to us through the death of Jesus Christ on the cross. This table is for those who have a relationship with him. [music] And if you have a relationship with Jesus, you can bring your pain to him as you take part in this bread and this cup this morning. Whatever pain, whatever baggage, whatever issues that you’re dealing with, you don’t have to hide it from him. He already knows. He already sees you completely. You can hide it from everyone else in here, but you can’t [music] hide it from your creator. As we come to the table this morning, let us open our hearts to him. I’m reminded of that verse from the Corinthians that Paul said, “For this light suffering, this light affliction is only for a moment, but it has in eternal weight for glory.” I’m going to invite Pastor Man to come forward and minister from the table.